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[] Something Every Tuesday

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[ Music ]

Announcer: The other days of the week may be dull and boring, but don’t give up hope yet, there’s always Something Every Tuesday with your host, Esen Landari!

[ Applause ]

Thank you! Thank you. You are too kind. I do not deserve a welcome that nice. The last time I got that much applause I was hosting a Banu award show in Yulin. Every time I read a name it got a standing ovation. Have you ever seen a whole crowd of Banu cheer for something? I still have no idea who actually won.

[ Laughter ]

To say that the Banu like celebrating is such an understatement, it’s like saying my mom just ‘likes’ her flatcats … All eight of them. She says they’re like her children, which if you think about it, says a lot about me. For the first twelve years of my life, I thought it was completely normal for the rugs in your house to try and run away from you. Even now, if I ever come home and there’s a towel on the floor, my first instinct is to get it a bowl of food.

[ Laughter ]

Speaking of food winding up on the floor, we have got to talk about this most recent mess that Imperator Costigan made, specifically on Emperor Kray’s robes. Have you seen this clip? Absolutely amazing. To set the scene, there was a fancy trade diplomacy gala in Yahti two days ago, and Costigan, dressed to the nines, is sitting at the head table surrounded by all of the most important Xi’An. At some point during the meal, Costigan reaches out for something to drink and our poor Imperator, the elected leader of all of Humanity, accidently takes a sip from his neighbor’s glass of surluk.

[ Disgusted Groans ]

Exactly. One little taste, and Costigan was — how do I put this tactfully? Let’s just say that he was helpfully providing all the Xi’An at the table a firsthand demonstration of rapid reverse Human digestion.

[ Laughter ]

Fortunately, Emperor Kray was very gracious about it and despite Costigan’s best efforts, there won’t be a new cold war. And when you think about it, it’s not too surprising that the Xi’An weren’t too bothered by the whole thing considering what surluk tastes like. Have any of you ever tried surluk? Anyone? Hands up? No? Not a single person? Smart. It’s instincts like that, that have kept the Human race alive this long. I, however, am not so lucky. Tried surluk once on a dare while I was still in school. I would describe it as a cross between licking the floor of a bathroom in Spider and that limited edition holiday spice-flavored Pips.

[ Laughter ]

In other news, have you heard about the museum in Croshaw that got robbed by a gang composed entirely of suspects over one hundred and fifty years old? Reporters have started calling it the ‘heist of the sesquicentenary.’ Amongst the items taken was the original rover used to first explore the surface of Angeli. Current theory is that the suspects were trying to find their craft after they forgot where they’d parked. To add insult to injury, local authorities pointed out that the criminals most likely got a 15% senior discount on everything they took.

[ Laughter ]

All right, we have got an simply fantastic show for you coming up. Director Adam Locke is here to discuss his new horror vid Alone We Are. Xenozoologist Michala Doso will be bringing by her newest collection of creepy crawlies that I’m sure she’ll pressure me into touching. And musical guest The Leedos will be making their first, and knowing the network’s censors, potentially last appearance on SET.

But first up, it is a real personal thrill for me to introduce the next guest. Please join me in welcoming Roberts Space Industries’ lead ship designer, Jules Parliegh.

[ Applause ]

Thank you so much for being here.

Jules: It’s great to be on the show.

First off, let me just say that the ’34 Constellation Phoenix is one of my favorite ships of all time. The sweeping lines of the interior and the way that they melded with the hull to create something greater than the whole is just incredible.

Jules: Wow. Thanks.

Total gearhead over here. For those of you who don’t know, that classic Connie was Jules’ first project as a ship designer, right?

Jules: Yeah, that’s right. I had been working as an assistant designer for a few years, but the ’34 Phoenix was the first project where I was put in a position to really have the chance to screw up. Which, when your choices have to stand on their own, makes a huge difference.

Sort of like how playing trigger is a lot more fun when you have a few credits riding on it.

Jules: Exactly. And the Constellation was the perfect place to dive into the deep end. The lead project designer, Kali May, had already gave us a fantastic palette to work with in the Aquila, so it made my job a lot easier when it came to creating the Phoenix. As a young designer, it helped to be limited by those boundaries. I’ve always found it easier to be creative inside a box.

Speaking of boxes, I have to ask, I heard that you and interior decorator Patrice Wintle got into a bit of a fight over the position of the bed?

Jules: ( laughing ) I’m not sure I would call it a fight … but yeah, when you get very passionate, creative people together, sometimes differences of opinion will appear. We couldn’t agree on which way the bed should face and went back and forth for a while on it till we eventually built mock-ups of both and had people sleep in them.

And who was right?

Jules: I honestly don’t remember. What ended up happening is that we realized that the bathroom placement was all wrong once we had people actually using the space. It was just in time too; reworking the plumbing almost put us past the deadline. After that, the bed placement just sorted itself.

I think that means Wintle was right.

[ Laughter ]

So your most recent project, you’ve been working on RSI’s new corvette, right?

Jules: Yes. I was fortunate enough to be selected as the lead designer for the Polaris. Largest ship I’ve had a chance to work on yet. Well over a hundred meters.

What’s it like working on that scale?

Jules: It complicates everything. The weight distribution, hull stresses, power ratios. Every ten meters you add, it adds significantly more problems, but at the end of the day, good design is good design no matter the scale. Probably the bigger difference for me on this project has been working on a more combat focused ship. It has been fascinating to consult not only with Navy personnel, but also smaller militia units. More and more of these capital ships are being used by planetary defense forces, so we’ve been trying to meet their needs as well.

And there’s a difference?

Jules: Definitely.

Can you give an example?

Jules: The Navy is a lot more willing to deal with complications if it means they have more ‘operational flexibility,’ while militia units typically want simplified dependability since they have less resources. The flooring comes to mind. We had this new technique we were looking at that could possibly save on the overall fabrication weight by adding these channels to the floor. Our Navy consultants loved the idea, the militia consultants were worried about how they were going to easily clean them if someone spilled something. It’s been an absolutely fantastic creative challenge trying to strike a balance.

All right, from the frantic waving of my producer, I think we have to take a quick break. We are definitely going to hear more from lead RSI designer Jules Parliegh when we get back and unveil an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at the 2947 Polaris shipyards. Don’t go away.

[ Music ]

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