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[] Something Every Tuesday

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[ Music ]

Announcer: Another week’s gone by, but don’t worry, you got Something Every Tuesday with your host, Esen Landari!

[ Applause ]

Hello! Look at all of you. Wow, this is a great looking audience. I know I said that last week, but that was before I saw you people. Last week’s audience was filled with filthy garbage people compared to you. Of course, I’m not really one to judge. You should see what I look like before the full flotilla of stylists and makeup artists get through with me. I look like a cross between Imperator Costigan and a second even less attractive Imperator Costigan. When they first hired me to do the show let’s just say there was a lot of talk of helmets. I’ve been told by the SET accountants that it takes so much work to make me halfway presentable that it’d be cheaper to buy a Calliope and rebuild me from scratch every week.

[ Laughter ]

Last week was crazy wasn’t it? To start off, we have to address the fact that the unthinkable has happened. After Friday night’s come-from-behind win, the Rhetor Raiders may just have a shot at this year’s Galactic Series. To put that into perspective, the Raiders haven’t won a Sataball championship since 2916. Do you know how different the Empire was in 2916? Back then we use to think that Slade Carver was actually a good movie!

[ Laughter ]

Interesting development for the explorers out there. A new company announced last week that they will be offering people something they are calling the “Gang Tour.” They are promising to take you, in exchange for real credits, through some of the most dangerous sectors in the ’verse. The list includes places like Spider, Ruin Station, Olympus. The Gang Tour is also known by its other name, “What happens when you’re captured by Slavers.”

[ Laughter ]

A bit of sad news, as well. The founder of Too Much Soup passed away at the age of 156. His family revealed that the casket will be inscribed with the touching remembrance: “Loving father. Caring spouse. Inventor of Diarrhea.”

[ Laughter ]

Any of you been hearing these rumors about Admiral Bishop’s new Kingship killer?

Apparently the Navy have been “secretly” building a new weapon that Bishop is going to use to teach those Vanduul a thing or two. What a waste of credits! Why bother developing new tech when we Humans have already developed the most devastating device known in the galaxy. A weapon so powerful that it leaves whole cities in ruins. That’s right, I am of course talking about Ellroy Cass. All we need to do is have Ellroy party with them for a single weekend and those ’duul will be begging for mercy.

[ Laughter ]

( Vanduul Voice ) No! No more shots! And why does this music keep telling me to “loose my tugger?” What does that even mean!?!?

[ Laughter ]

Can you even imagine a Vanduul doing the tug? It’d be like watching your grandpa trying to be cool, but with slightly more stabbing.

Speaking of wars with aliens, I don’t know if you’ve been following this, but over on Jalan we’ve got the first Tevarin ever to run for the Senate. With elections only a few months away, I think this Suj Kossi character has got a real shot. I mean, we all know how good Tevarin are at running.

[ Jeers ]

Okay, okay. But seriously, don’t you think it’s about time we have a Tevarin in the Senate?

[ Applause ]

I mean nothing will make them regret attacking us all those years ago like letting them serve in the Senate.

[ Laughter ]

Talk about punishment. A few heated “debates” against the likes of Senator Albervar and Senator Beate and I bet Mr. Kossi will be hopping onto to the first skipper headed to Branaugh.

Alright, we’ve got a fantastic show for you lined up, we got Henry and the Hatboys stopping by to show what happened on their recent trip to the beach. Musical guest Warbird will be here and trust me, they are going to ratch it up. Plus, later on we will be talking to agricultural scientist Lance Rian about why all the best restaurants are clamoring for a taste of his new breed of cow. But before all that, we’ve got to bring out our first guest, star of the upcoming vid Lost Squad and probably my dreams later tonight, give it up for none other than the one and only Don Cinloa!

[ Wild Applause ]

Welcome back to SET, Don.

Don: It is great to be here, Esen. You were right about this audience. They are a very attractive.

[ Cheers ]

Oh, now you’ve done it. They’re just going to be out of control the rest of the show. Quick, you better insult them.

Don: Your applause is sloppy.

[ Laughter ]

He’s right. It was an absolute mess. You can do better.

[ Wild Applause ]

There we go! Now, Don, we’ve all been seeing the trailers for weeks now, and I got to say, Lost Squad is shaping up to be the vid of the year. Can you tell us about who you play?

Don: I play Blair “Maverick” Cobalt, a rookie pilot sent on his first mission to patrol Caliban.

And I’m sure everything went perfectly fine.

Don: ( Laughing ) Yup. The vid is just him flying around for a few months before he gets sent back home.

( Laughing ) Roll credits. Kidding aside though, the Fall of Caliban, which Lost Squad is based on, is really amazing stuff. I was familiar with the name, but I had no idea just how crazy it was.

Don: Yeah, going into the project I was like most people, I knew that the 88th Squadron were these big heroes, and that they held out against the ’duul, but I didn’t really know the full tragic story.

How close does Lost Squad stick to what actually happened?

Don: One of the writers, Hadrian Weir, best described it as ‘heightened history.’ Sort of a more focused version to really get to the heart of the matter. For example, there never was a pilot named Cobalt in the 88th, but the character is this fantastic amalgamation of the actual pilots who served. As part of my research, it was incredible to get to check out all this old Navy archive footage as I pieced together the character. I think when people watch this vid they are going to be blown away. I had to keep reminding myself that, “Holy crap. People actually did this stuff for real.”

Do you think the fact that we are officially at war with the Vanduul is going to change the way people watch this vid?

Don: We were in production long before the attack on Vega II, but there’s no denying that what is happening in the Empire right now will make this story resonate more than ever. At its heart though, I don’t think Lost Squad is a story about Vanduul. It’s a story about people.

All right, I’m going to have to stop you for a moment right there. Hold that thought.

We gotta take a quick break, but when we come back, we got more Don Cinloa and an exclusive ’verse premier clip of Lost Squad you are not gonna want to miss.

[ Music ]

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